i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
