I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
