Whod you bang
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We just shotgunned beers for America
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
