So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
