Dual....:-)
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
