did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
