I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
