I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Alive.
So much puke
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
