I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
