saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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