Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
