dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
two words...techno handjob
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
