He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Barsexuality is the new black.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize