dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
there is puke in my bra ... again
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