p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Randomize
