I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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