According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
