Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I want is dick and wine.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
