why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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