I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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