Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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