My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
