my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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