Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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