I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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