it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
