I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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