Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
