Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
