Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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