I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
