Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
