what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm too high and old for this...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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