That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
