I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
