I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
