so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize