I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
