I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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