Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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