He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
