I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
