what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
