haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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