I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
