it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
