Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
