My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
