pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
