this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
