i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
