Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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