He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
