i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i think i have two assholes
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
