Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
