Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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