Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
