What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
