it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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