I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
